Going Live
Yesterday I travelled to Plymouth with my husband Rob. We
were on a road trip to the BBC Radio Devon studios. I was so nervous. All the
way there I felt as sick as a dog. Much makeup was needed to cancel out the
pale milky look on my face. Why was I nervous? I knew the questions I was going
to be asked, I had been asked them many times before in previous interviews,
like when I appeared on the TV and when I made the front cover of the local
newspaper. But this was different, this was going out live and I had the added
pressure of performing my new charity single on air.
After a two-hour drive we pulled up outside of the studio. I
couldn’t stop shaking, my legs were like jelly and my hands were as unsteady as
someone with Parkinson’s disease…’how the hell am I going to play guitar like
this?’ I asked my husband. ‘You’ll be fine’ he said trying to reassure me. I
wasn’t so convinced as I stumbled my way into the studio, guitar in hand and
what felt like a million butterflies fluttering around in my belly. Before I
new it I was sat at a desk in front of a microphone with three amazingly
talented musicians all waiting to tell their stories and promote their music.
Claire was up first, a quirky looking woman with her bare feet and cowgirl hat.
But she sang and played brilliantly. If wasn’t nervous before, I certainly was
after hearing her! It quickly dawned on me that I was going to be the most
inexperienced musician in the studio. But there was one saving grace, I had a
story to tell, one that really pulls at the heartstrings, so how ever bad my
performance was going to be all mistakes would be forgiven because of my reason
for doing it. Plus there was cake, and that always makes a girl feel better!
So my turn came around. ‘We also have Steph with us in the
studio today’ said John who was presenting the morning show. ‘Oh shit’ I
thought, ‘this is actually happening’. I was prompted to introduce myself and
explain why I was there. I gave a brief explanation of how my former husband
and father to three of my children recently lost a year long battle with
cancer, and how I had now written a song in his memory to raise money for
Cancer Research. I spoke in a nervous quivering voice that I was naively hoping
only I had noticed. Then the time came to pick up my guitar and play my song to
a potential 70,000 listeners. Luckily, I was unaware of that statistic until my
interview was over. I noticed the mistakes I was making in my picking, but no
one new how my song was supposed to go except for me so it didn’t really
matter. Besides, I had talked my husband Rob into backing me on the mandolin to
cover any imperfections. What? He may as well have made himself useful while he
was there. Once I had started to sing though all my nerves gradually
disappeared, I was actually enjoying myself and every note was in key. The
applause from the other musicians was also reassuring.
It turned out to be an experience I thoroughly enjoyed and I
left with a hunger for more. I could definitely get used to a lifestyle of
performances and media attention. The only thing on my mind when it was over
was when my next interview was going to be and who with!
Keep chasing your dreams!
